Thursday, June 9, 2011

Scripted Exposure

Brandie J. Buford

SHSU Writing Project

8 June 2011

The Teacher Exploration Workshop (The Question and Profile & Philosophy): Scripted Exposure

The Question:

How can I break the barrier between my passion for reading instruction and my tolerance of writing instruction?
Philosophy & Profile:
This matters to me because my students suffered this year as I struggled to accept my label of writing teacher.  They said I would no longer be teaching reading; they said I would be teaching writing.  Pause.  I thought to myself how can one exist without the other.  It is no wonder I felt a part of my soul rip away; I was loosing my best friend.  I cringed at the thought of teaching grammar, writing research papers, and evaluating TAKS prompt essays for the entire year.  Previously, as a reading teacher, my students and I could escape the stony walls of our school and encounter new challenges, new characters, and new perspectives on life as we read aloud, silently, and in small groups.  This year, however, my students and I were imprisoned to RM 229 in August, paroled in June and enthusiastically danced to the recycling bin to destroy the writing folders.  I had never done that before, and the shame of such savage behavior against discourse nauseated me to the core.  Being nauseated lead to anger; anger lead to disappointment; disappointment lead to humility, and humility has brought me to this inquiry.
My students deserve better; honestly, they need better instruction and engagement than what was provided to them this school year.  I recall memories of passing by my students in the mornings; they would faithfully arrive at school with the best they had, and often times, that meant just themselves in uniform.  Though they were not prepared with binder, pen, and paper for the day’s work, they were prepared to listen and learn from me, although often times, I felt as though I was not providing beneficial writing experiences.  My students vary in socioeconomic background, linguistic ability, and are of Hispanic and African American descent.  Classes are blended so that there are no homogeneous regular, special or G/T writing classes.  This heterogeneous mixture was an overwhelming challenge that I was successful in addressing as a reading teacher, yet as a writing teacher ,I failed them.  Upon review of their TAKS scores, my students exceeded the requirements of the standards tested; I should be satisfied and utilize this exploration to focus on strengthening composition through effective syntax and diction, but when I reflect upon their attitudes toward writing based upon the instruction I provided, I am categorically unacceptable.  I struggle with myself as I take upon the role of the writing teacher, but I can not see myself abandoning my first love, reading, so I ask myself:  How can I break the barrier between my passion for reading instruction and my tolerance of writing instruction?

1 comment:

  1. Brandie, I admire the honesty you showed in this question and profile. It is a difficult task you face in combining your passion with your "blah." I feel you should not give up on your passion in the classroom!! Maybe you can tie in literature instruction as a model for effective writing. Good Luck!!!

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